Secrets Of Youth And Tragedy
by housefan1
Summary: Rachel yearns for stardom, Will to make an impact, Bryan Ryan destroys everything in his path...including virtue.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel quickly made her way through the empty hallways of McKinnley high, her ballet flats thumping under her fast paced feet. Scoulding herself outloud at her forgetfullness as she came in front of her grey locker, as she opened the metal door a sound from down the hall could be heard, figuring it to be a staff memebr staying late or a janitor Rachel ignored the sounds and continued to fish out her math book for tonights algebra. As she shut her locker she let out a small yelp when Bryan Ryan appeared next to her leaning against the locker next to her own. Rachel put her hand to her chest, her cell and book meeting the hard laminate flooring.

"Mr. Ryan I am so sorry, I didn't see you there." Rachel replied as she tried to slow her heart rate.

Bryan Ryan only smiled sweetly and shook his head in disagreement, "No sorry the fault is mine I should have spoke up, here let me get those."

Rachel watched as Mr. Ryan retrieved her book and cell from the floor, but as she reached out to take the items he began to step farther back. This only confused Rachel and made her more irritated she was already late rehearsing her ballet piece and really needed to get going.

" I am actually really late for ballet and It would be really great If you could hand me my things so I can go..."

"Ballet? Wow you really are a busy girl. Glee club, ballet and the most beautiful girl in school. You sure your not spreading yourself thin?" Bryan asked as he stepped closer to Rachel's ballet uniform clad body.

Rachel could feel her woman's intuition kick in and tell her to get away from him as quickly as possible, but the stubborn part of Rachel needed to get her work done and figured he was just trying to get a rise out of her to get back at .

" I assure you that I am more than capable of taking care of myself, now can you please hand me my things so I can leave." Rachel asked reaching her hand out to grab her things.

Bryan then grabbed her wrist painfully tight and pulled her tiny frame to his. He could smell her vanilla perfume and could sense the fear that radiated from her exquisette body. As he pocketed her cell in the other and dropped her book to the ground, he pushed her against the locker.

"Well in my opinon Ms. Berry i think I could do a much better job taking care of you than you could ever dream of." He whispered into her ear as he felt her shake against his body, making him become harder than he was.

Rachel could feel her heart beat quickly and her body shake, she looked around desperately for a sign of anyone only to see dark empty halls and the sound of his breathe in her ear and upon her neck.

She tried to rip herself free with a scream, which was a mistake when she felt his grip tighten and his hand meet her throat as he held her back in her place.

"Now Rachel how about you cooperate and I promise you will not be hurt,just listen and listen good Rachel. I might not be Schuester, cause if i was...i would've tore this up along time ago." He replied as he grabbed her ass roughly through her tights causing Rachel to cry harder and try to pull away.

"You do this or Schuester could kiss his job goodbye and you can be damn well sure of it. You wouldn't want that would you and if you tell you better remember I am a very well liked man in this city Rachel, you wouldn't wanna be dubbed the school whore. Cause then you could just kiss New York goodbye. Got me?" he asked as he gripped her throat harder causing Rachel to gasp for air and cry in fear harder she could only shake her head in agreement.

"Good now let's take this to a more private setting shall we?" Bryan replied as he pulled her roughly into a dark classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel walked silently into her room that night, her legs and body ached in protest as she tried to undress herself. The throbbing pain between her legs increased as she lifted her legs out of her leotard. She could feel the bruises all over her began to form without even having to see them there, as she started the shower she turned it to the hottest setting wanting to be clean, cleaned of the filth that spread inside and out. She stepped in the shower with a wince and cried out as the hot water hit her cool,damaged skin. She could feel the burn of the open cuts and scratches. She grabbed her loofah and dispensed a generous amount of her body wash onto the loofah. She began to scrub slowly over her aching body, but soon the thought of his touch , his lips, and his sweat on her began to make her skin crawl and she began to scrub harder and with fury. She ignored the pain as the loofah made hard strokes over her sore body.

She rubbed her skin raw unril she had finally collapsed to the shower floorand began to sob hard and loud, her eyes tired from crying and her throat raspy from earlier screaming. She felt the water turn cold and finally she sat up and turned the water off. Getting out of the tub she quickly dried herslef and skipped her nightly regiment of applying her lotion and instead dressed quickly in a long shirt and sweat pants. She felt the need to dress quickly and cover up as much of her exposed skin as possible. As she lay in bed that night she dreaded the thought of school and feared the dreams that she sure would come to her in the night. She would never be the same she realised as she drifted off into a restless sleep filled with visions of her assault and the images of her attacker.

The next day Rachel walked through the school, her hair in messy waves her body hidden in a big McKinnley high sweat shirt, her legs hidden in a pair of baggy jeans. She kept her head low as she walked slowly through the crowded halls. Not wanting to be bothered by anyone especially by her bullies or her glee mates.

The school day consisted of Rachel staring down at her hands as she played with her gold star necklace, and her appearance as well as her presence did not go unnoticed by her glee mates as she sat in the choir room, away from the group. She only stared at her necklace, the one he broke.

"Hey Rachel are you ok?" asked Finn quietly enough for her to hear as he stood in front of her.

"I'm fine Finn, please just leave me be." Rachel replied as she continued to turn the necklace in her hands.

Finn could only shove his hands in his pockets and nod his head, "Sure but listen if you need to talk, just shout."

"Sure." Rachel replied no expression upon her face.

Finn continued to worriedly nod his head in return and walked back to his seat next to Quinn on the other side of the room.

"What's wrong with Rachel?" Quinn whispered to Finn who only answered with a shurg of his shoulders.

Will entered the classroom at that moment, his bag of sheet music placed upon the piano as he faced his club. Before he could talk he noticed how everyone there began to glance at Rachel, a look of curiousity and worry graced their faces as they whispered among themselves. He looked at Rachel and was shocked by her appearance as he watched her fidget with something in her away and reminding himself to talk to Rachel, he continued with his lesson.

"Ok guys let's get a set list going on our top favorites."

As the club happily fought over their favorites many continued to notice that Rachel had yet to announce her own favorites and had yet to complain about her lack of solos. Instead she sat silently in the same position as when she had got there.

Rachel could hear them talk amongst themselves and as much as the Rachel Berry inside her wanted to be included and heard, the new Rachel felt distant and unable to care about anything at this moment except getting out of there and going home. Thankfully her dad's went on vacation for a month and she had the house to herself. She wanted so despeartely to hide from everything and everyone. She didn't want to explain, she just want to be alone.

But as soon as she contemplated her night she heard the earth shattering voice of her attacker, Bryan Ryan just entered the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel felt her whole world stop as she heard his voice vibrate through out the choir room. She could feel her hands shake and her stomache churn with each word that came out of his mouth. She was scared, she wanted to run far far away, but at the same time she was struck with uncontrollable fear, like a trapped animal in a cage.

"So Will, I was just talking to Figgins and he sees no problem in giving you back your show choir priveledges."Replies Ryan hatefully as he rudely plopped into Will's desk chair.

Will could only roll his eyes at the arrogant man but soon relief replaced that annoyance at the news, his glee club was still moving full speed ahead with no interruptions. His celeration was cut short by curiousity as he stared at the man before him.

"Why all the sudden are we all systems go. What's the catch?" Will asked curiously as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Bryan only smiled and threw his hands in the air, standing from the chair he walked near to where Rachel was sitting. "Well after seeing the talent and devotion from some of your students, It was easy to see that this club had much potential. Why screw up a good thing?Right guys?" Bryan said loudly to the glee kids who then began to whoot, cheer and clap.

Rachel still sat in silence, she could feel the bile in her throat threaten to leave her mouth. Rachel jumped up from her chair and ran from the room, trying to run from the questioning looks from her friends, the smell of Bryan's cologne and the memory of his hands on her scared trembling body.

She ran into the girl's restroom emptying her tossing stomache into the porcelain toliet. She could feel her heart race and wished then and there she could just curl up and die. She continued to purge as she remembered the smile of defeat as he broke her, the satisfaction in his voice as he stood so close to her, the pain that continued to throb in her center.

Soon a knock could be heard on her stall, she froze unable to answer, frightened it was the very man that lead her to be in this stall, hurling. Soon the worried voice of Will Schuester echoed in the empty restroom, "Rachel are you ok?"

Rachel let out a deep breathe she didn't realize she was holding flushing the toliet and standing weakly on her shaking legs she unlocked the stall door allowing it to fall open to reveal a worried looking glee coach. Rachel could tell her appearance did not help matters. Her hair was disheveled and uncombed, her face was a sickly pale and her body was covered with big jeans and an oversized McKinley High sweatshirt.

"Rachel what's wrong? What happened?" Will asked gently as he reached a hand forward to rest upon her shrunken shoulder.

Rachel could see his hand moving forward and fear gripped her sore body, she could see Bryan's hand instead of 's. She screamed and ran past him toward the sink, obviously frightened. "Please don't touch me…don't touch me!" Rachel yelled panickly as she began to cry.

Will stood in a scared silence, never had he seen someone especially Rachel so frightened before. This was not his Rachel. So he just took a few steps backto show her he meant no harm,and watched as she stared dejectedly to the ground, tears fell from her brown eyes.

"Rachel, can you tell me what's wrong?" Will asked slowly as if not to startle her.

Rachel only shook her head in disagreement very slowly as she continued to stare at the floor and soak it in her tears.

"Ok can you tell me who made you feel this way?" Will asked desperatly trying to get a response from her.

He was rewarded when her head shot up and her eyes became big in panic, she shook her head furiously. "Stop it, just stop it? Just let me die ok I just want to die...I can't or he'll come back he promised...he'll know please just leave me alone." Rachel cried furiously as she ran from the bathroom and away from a bewildered Will Schuester.

By the time he could process the fear and flight of Ms. Rachel Berry, she was far gone. He sprinted around the hwole school searching for the crying girl, finally he checked the student parking lot. Her black VW bug gone from the crowded parking lot.

"Shit!" Will whispered harshly as he let the heavy school door close behind him.

He waited impatiently for 3 o'clock, the vision of her dark eyes and tears shook him to his very core. He has seen her sad, he has seen her cry but never had he seen her so small, vulnerable and scared shitless.

The bell rang loudly announcing it was now the end of the day, he was out the door faster than most of his students. He jumped in his car throwing his bags in the bag, starting it up he raced to his fina destination. Rachel's house.


	4. Chapter 4

Secrets 4

Rachel threw her bag on the floor as soon as she got into her empty house, her dad's went on vacation again to try and work out their "marital issues", as they put it. Rachel locked the door right away and shut the blinds encasing the living room in darkness.

She made her way quickly to her bathroom, stripping herself down she threw herself quickly under the steaming hot spray. Rachel winced at the sudden change in temperature on her cool skin. As she adjusted to the hot spray she began to spread body wash over her loofah and began to scrub her body down. She closed her eyes and thought of the day's events and shook her head at her own stupidity. How could she let him get to her in front of everyone? There would be questions, rumors, everyone already talked behind her back and now she had hot on her trail.

She began to scrub harder wincing at the pain, after a few minutes she haulted the assault on her skin and washed her brown hair skipping the conditioner, she turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a large terry cloth towel around her tiny body. She dried herself and slipped on pajama pants and an oversized RENT shirt. As she brushed her long brown hair a knock could be heard from downstairs. She froze her brush still clutched in her hand. Her fingers gripping so hard her knuckles began to turn white.

She put her brush down and walked from her room, and down the stairs making her way to the front door, silently wishing there was a peep hole in their door. Opening it slowly she came face to face with her worst fear.

"Well hello Rachel. Busy?" Bryan Ryan smiled as he leaned against her door frame.

Rachel quickly tried to shut the door but was stopped and thrown back by Bryan Ryan.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel now we talked about this. If you fight it will not help you any and yet you still continue to fight. Overachiever are we?" Bryan Ryan asked as he shut the door behind him, delivering a swift kick to Rachel's side. Causing her to groan and clench in pain.

Rachel tried to catch her breathe, tears blurring her vision as she tried to crawl away from her attacker. She could hear his dark laughter as he loomed over her slow moving body. She screamed as he grabbed a fistful of her hair bringing her body back to his know kneeling one.

"I bet you thought that was real cute. Rachel Berry ever the actress storming from the room dramatically, a caring Will Schuester chasing after."

Before Rachel could even shake her head she was flipped over harshly on her back by an angry Bryan Ryan. His body trapping hers to the carpetting beneath her, her arms trapped above her head, she could feel her heart race and panic rise in her throat.

"This can not be happening again...please god not again." Rachel thought as she began to cry.

She could feel his spit on her neck as he hurridely kissed down her neck, she could feel the pressure on her chest as he put his full body weight on top of her.

"I have to do something." she reasoned, "I can't go through this again."Suddenly she saw the reflection on the ceiling that someone had pulled into her garage way, trying to not give away what she knew she laid still, and suddenly she heard a knock at her door and before Brayn Ryan could react she screamed as loudly as she could and as fast as she could. By the time Bryan had the time to cover her mouth she could hear her front door be thrown open and standing in shock at the front door was Will Schuester.

- Will's view

Will made his way to Rachel's house worry gripping his mind, he knew Rachel and when something wasn't right he could tell within a flash. Rachel was a girl of many emotions, he' s seen them all sadness, hurt, anger, happiness, nervousness but never in his mind could he tell you what she looked like terrified until today. He could still see her frightened eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights, he could remember how her lip quivered and her body shook violently as she tried to pull her body to herself when he tried to reach for her. It hurt him the most that the fear was directed toward him, never would he imagine being the cause of her fear.

As he pulled into her driveway he noticed a familar car parked on the street near her house, he could have sworn he had seen that car somewhere before. Convincing himself he was dilusional he made his way quickly to Rachel's front door. He could hear loud shuffling coming from inside the house, but a type of shuffling that he couldn't place. It sounded very hurried and this really concerned him.

His fist only meet the door once, when a scream could be heard coming from inside her house. Adreanline rushed through his veins and he knew he had to get in there, luckily the door was unlocked. Will pushed his way through quickly to see the horrifying sight, a halfdressed crying Rachel pinned down underneath an angry Bryan Ryan.

Will quickly ran toward Bryan pulling him flush off of Rachel, he angrily began to punch him repeatedly anywhere he could hit. His mind trying to find new ways to hurt him like he had hurt Rachel. As Bryan hit the floor Will continued to punch and kick until finally a bloody Bryan sat in front of him, he could tell Bryan only needed one more hit to be gone, but soon he could feel a small hand upon his shoulder. Pulling away from him he raised his fist unawaringly to a scared Rachel Berry.

Quickly pulling his fist away he looked onto the crying Rachel Berry, "He's not worth it. Don't kill him."

Will shook his head disagreeing, turning towards a groaning Bryan Ryan, "He deserves everything he's gonna get, he needs to be punished."

"Then let him suffer, killing him is not gonna punish him, it will only help just please...Will."

The sound of his name from her lips made him turn toward her, "Will please...please." Rachel pleaded as she buried her head into his chest.

Will held her close and watched Bryan continue to groan and roll across the carpet of her livingroom, pulling his cell from his pocket he proceeded to call 911.

"Yes, i need an officer to 3051 Prairie Dr...a sexual assault...yes he is detained in the house...yes...thank you."

"Are you ok Rachel?" Rachel could only shake her head, she suddely realized she had no shirt on, covering her bra encased chest she tried to look down, very embarrassed to be seen in such a way in the eyes of a man she looked up to more than anyone. Will noticed and removed his jacket, handing it to her.

Rachel nodded her thanks and covered her half naked body as she made her way to her kitchen.

The police arrived took the report and as quickly as they were there they were gone taking along with them. Will shut the door behind the last detective and held the business card he was given in his hand. Turning towards the couch he watched as Rachel stared at the blood spots on the floor. He could see her reliving the event over and over in her head and he wished in vain he could have protected her from even having to have these thoughts.

He made his way into the livingroom and sat on the far end of her couch, as to not scare her. Rachel looked to Will and curled deeper into the white plush couch.

"I'm sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

_***I haven't updated this story in forever because unfortunately life just gets in the way. I promise to update regularly and to finish this story. Please enjoy this new chapter***_

**_Chapter 5_**

_"Im sorry." _

Will had once believed that he had heard it all, but it wasn't until that moment when he heard those two words come from her mouth was he truly taken aback. The two words believed to rectify and bring comfort, where nothing more than pitiful and heart wrenching.

"Rachel, no." Will said as he made his way quickly to the girl sitting alone and broken on the couch.

"I never, ever want to hear you apologize for this. Do you understand me?"

Rachel nodded her head never looking into his eyes, just down at her hands playing with the end of the hoodie's sleeves. Even when she felt him bring her in for a hug she felt nothing. None of the warmth that she remembers his hugs having, no security, no peace, it was just her buried into a person. That was all. Rachel pulled away slowly standing above Will.

"I need to take a shower." Rachel said never making eye contact, staring instead at the framed picture on the wall.

"Of course. How about you do that and I'll make you something to eat. You gotta be starving." Will replied as he watched Rachel begin to walk towards the staircase.

Rachel only nodded and continued her journey towards the upstairs bathroom, Will just sighed and made his way to the kitchen all the while trying to contemplate the next course of action.

* * *

><p>Rachel shut the door behind her making sure to hear the click of the lock before she let out a huge sigh, she could begin to feel her body tremble as her feet shuffled across the cold tiled floor to the bath tub. As if on auto pilot, she started the hot shower and began to undress. Never trusting herself to walk near the sink or even look up from where she stood in fear that she would see her reflection. As she stepped into the very hot shower she couldn't help but wince at the stinging of her raw and battered flesh. Yet she never moved from under the spray, the hot almost scolding water cascaded down her body and all Rachel could do was stare at the black tile in front of her. Anger, hurt, betrayal, pain, confusion and pure hate, that's all she could register, these emotions resounded so loud she couldn't even think, couldn't even concentrate.<p>

"He did this, he did this, he did this." Rachel repeated to herself as she tried to subdue her emotions. Suddenly she felt the anger and the hate build inside of her stomach. Her body began to shake and before she could register what was happening she was screaming this mantra as she began to tear her shower caddy from the wall.

Will was in the process of making a grilled cheese sandwich when he suddenly heard yelling and crashing coming from the bathroom. Turing off the stove he quickly made his way through the kitchen and to the stair case. As he approached the bathroom he could hear her scream, "He did this." as more things began to smash from inside. He tried the door knob, locked. "Rachel! Rachel honey open up! Rachel I'm going to break down the door...let me in" Will pleaded as he began to knock heavier. Finally with a firm hit of his shoulder he broke in.

The shower rod and curtain laying outside of the bathtub, broken shampoo bottles and glass from the mirrored walls littered the floor and now cowered at the bottom of the tub was a screaming Rachel rocking back and forth , the shower still running and her bloodied hands covering her head. Will quickly turned off the water and threw a towel over Rachel's back, trying to cover her.

"Rachel its ok your safe, your safe Rachel." he repeated as he wrapped his arms around the now frantically crying girl.

They sat there like that for at least 10 minutes before Rachel's tears began to subside, finally Will was able to help Rachel up and look away quickly as she pulled the towel around her whole body. Finally he picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the bathroom, as to avoid the sharp pieces of glass that lay upon the floor, to her bed and laid her on it so she could sit up.

"I'll let you get dressed, I'm going to start sweeping up the bathroom. If you need anything I'm only a door away."

Rachel nodded as she waited for Will to leave the room, Will opened the closet in the hallway to find a broom and dust pan and began to clean the mess that was the upstairs bathroom. As he began to put the shower curtain back up her heard her feet pad down the hardwood floor towards him.

"You didn't have to clean up." Rachel said softly, almost as a child who was just scolded.

Will shrugged his shoulders as he finished pulling the curtain across the bar, "It doesn't matter, It didn't even take that long really."

Rachel just hung her head, staring at her now bandaged fingers. "Thank you."

Will smiled softly, "No problem Rachel. Are you still hungry? The grilled cheese I was making is probably not very good right now. I can order a pizza?"

As much as Rachel wanted to say no, she could feel her belly lurch in hunger at just the mere thought of a cheesy slice of pizza. Begrudgingly she nodded her head with approval.

"Great! Pizza it is."

* * *

><p>An hour later they were eating a large cheesy pizza with extra cheese and Ranch dipping sauce. They ate in silence mostly except for the occasional request for a napkin or another slice of pizza, as an old black and white movie called Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Boggart, a movie chosen by Rachel of course played on the big screen in front of them. Before the pizza had gotten there Rachel spoke with her dads on the phone reassuring them that she was ok and that Mr. Schue would stay until they could get a flight back.<p>

Rachel couldn't help but feel a sense of relief when she heard Will tell her parents over the phone that he would not leave her alone. She looked over at the man sitting next to her as he took another bite of pizza, she could tell he wasn't as invested in the movie as he tried to look. She could tell he was thinking just as much as she was, and for this she definitely felt less alone and weird.

" Mr. Schuester , I just wanted to thank you for staying with me and for everything that you've done for me. Not only for just today but for everyday since I've known you. This was probably the hardest day of my life and if it wasn't for you..." Rachel paused as she swallowed back the lump in her throat and tried not to delve more into the scenario of what could have happened. "Just... thank you."

Will could only smile reassuringly as he laid his hand on her shoulder, staring into her dark eyes he could see the tears form in them, threatening to escape.

"Rachel, I will always do my best to be there for you. You are my student and friend and I will try to protect you no matter what. As I said before I am your number one fan."

Rachel smiled as she brought him into a hug, finally she was able to breathe again.


End file.
